... clichéd as it may be I really believe this is it. This is where I am going to change.
I have recently turned 25 and I am so fed up of battling with my weight. I have always struggled with it but in my last year of high school I lost about three stone doing the Atkins diet. I worked and I worked and it paid off and the results were fantastic, I was getting compliments from fellow students, from teachers and my family. The world was my oyster. Boys were beginning to pay attention to me, I was finally starting to turn into something.
Then came university. A new world of cooking for myself and alcohol being available at every turn. It won't be a surprise to anyone that has been to university that when you first start cooking for yourself carbs and fats are your staple diet, they are quick and they are cheap. So, along with these terrible eating habits my alcohol consumption had increased ten-fold. Cheap, sugary alcopops were the drink du-jour.
The weight piled on, I gradually got rid of all my clothes that I wore at the start of my university life and suddenly realised that clothes from Topshop would no longer fit me. Never mind, I thought, there's always New Look. Good old New Look, the comfort blanket of the overweight girl. Fashion in sizes that don't discriminate.
And fast-forward to where I now, in a world surrounded by glamourous young businesswomen and fast-paced friends. In my new 'grown-up' days my weight has fluctuated, gin and slimline tonics have replaced cheap alcopops, salads have replaced fast food and the expensive gym membership is in the (sports)bag. However, more money has also meant more junk food, a pizza delivery is always available and a quick trip to the supermarket on the way home from the gym means a ready meal and a chocolate bar. Has anyone else noticed that bad food always seem to be reduced at the end of the day? This is too much to bear for a ravenous girl straight from the gym.
So. Enough is enough. I KNOW that Atkins worked, I've tried it before and got the results to prove it. It is Monday 28 February 2011 and I have been to the supermarket and stocked up on foods for Phase One.
I'm sitting on my sofa wallowing in my last carb binge. On the TV is some trashy American reality TV show (which I love by the way, it's my secret shame) full of super-skinny, size zero LA giraffes.
As much as I feel I am betraying all those years of feminism, I WANT to look like them. I envy their bone structures, I admire their thin legs and I lust over their clothes. This is what I want. I realise that these shows are about as real as their tans, but I still find myself wishing I had their lives.
Today is the day after the Oscars and my bucket list has a recent addition. One day I will be at the Oscars. Not picking up an award (my mediocre grade at GCSE drama speaks for itself) but I would love to be at the parties, surrounded by the old Hollywood glamour, mixing with these beautiful people.
So, there we have it. Tomorrow morning I say goodbye to the carbs. Tomorrow morning I say good bye to the sugar, caffeine and alcohol. Here we go...
